Is control a force that causes harm or is it a means of achieving benefit?

Are there any instances when assuming control over ourselves or others can be necessary?

The determination of whether control yields harm or benefit is contingent upon your underlying purpose. When your intention is rooted in compassion for both yourself and others, control can indeed be advantageous. For instance, consider the act of preventing  someone from getting hurt. This would be considered a clear instance of beneficial control. This involves a conscious, nurturing approach where your mature, caring self guides you away from behaviours that may harm you, like unhealthy eating habits, substance abuse, and so on. Equally, this would also prevents you from causing harm to others.  This could be seen as Self-discipline, rather than control.

The dual nature of control, whether it manifests as harm or benefit, rests firmly upon the foundation of intent. The very essence of control, its ethical compass, is defined by the motives that guide its application.

The dichotomy begins to unravel when we probe deeper into the driving force behind our desire for control. If our intent is rooted in empathy, compassion, and the greater good, then control takes on a benevolent form. It becomes a tool for safeguarding, guiding, and nurturing, as seen in protecting someone from danger or making choices that prioritise the well-being of ourselves and others.

On the flip side, when control is borne out of selfishness, manipulation, or the pursuit of power, it assumes a more detrimental guise. Such control becomes a mechanism of dominance, stifling autonomy, and impeding growth, as it prioritises personal gain over collective harmony.

The wounded self, or “damaged ego” seldom acts with the intention of advancing the greater good; it inherently serves self-interest, pursuing wealth, authority, love, while dodging rejection, abandonment, and adversity. Conversely, the compassionate adult is willing to endure discomfort to radiate love, whereas the wounded self goes to great lengths to evade its apprehensions.

When referring to the intent to control, it is the wounded self's intent under scrutiny. The compassionate adult's intention is never rooted in governing oneself or others but rather in fostering affection for oneself and others. This may occasionally entail self-guidance or limitations to avert harm. The demarcation between affection and control becomes evident when observed through the prism of intent. By examining behaviors, both yours and others', based on whether they serve personal gain or collective welfare, you can discern between actions driven by love and those rooted in control.

Nurturing the compassionate adult involves cultivating self-guidance by channeling the spiritual power to curtail self-destructive actions and behaviors that harm others. This transcends mere willpower; the wounded self may attempt to employ willpower as a form of self-control, albeit ineffectively. Self-guidance involves harnessing the spirit's strength to fortify your will and capacity for compassionate actions. This blossoms when we consciously invite the spirit to lead us, rather than attempting to act in isolation.

When delving into the concept of control, it's imperative to acknowledge that our realm of authority is confined to our individual selves: encompassing our mindsets, beliefs, behaviors, and intentions. Constructive control materialises when we exercise influence over our intent to comprehend love. Conversely, detrimental control manifests when we strive to govern our emotions instead of extracting wisdom from them, or when we seek dominion over others and outcomes.

To foster a sense of self-control, we must carefully craft choices that emanate from empathy, self-awareness, and a profound alignment with our inner wisdom. This notion of self-control doesn't entail stifling desires or enforcing rigid regulations upon ourselves. Rather, it embodies a graceful interplay between our nurturing adult self and the wounded aspects that reside within us. It involves skillfully guiding our thoughts, emotions, and actions along trajectories that honor not only our own well-being but also that of others. Instead of battling these wounded facets, we embrace them with compassion, acknowledging their emergence as protective mechanisms, and gently guiding them toward healthier alternatives.

The practice of self-control entails recognising moments when our wounded selves yearn for immediate gratification or attempt to shield us from discomfort. Rather than succumbing to impulsive reactions, we pause and attune ourselves to our higher guidance. We tap into the wellspring of wisdom that resides within us, seeking solutions that resonate with our authentic desires and long-term flourishing. This practice is about making decisions that don't arise from fear or compulsion but rather stem from a place of inner balance and love, responding thoughtfully and intentionally. These conscious choices contribute to our growth, forge connections, and enhance our overall well-being.

When delving into the concept of control, it's crucial to recognize that our sphere of influence is confined to our own beings: our mindsets, convictions, conduct, and aspirations. Constructive control comes to the fore when we wield power over our intention to fathom love. On the flip side, detrimental control materialises when we strive to govern our emotions instead of gleaning wisdom from them, or when we endeavour to dominate others and outcomes.

Within this intricate interplay of intent and control, self-awareness takes center stage. By delving into the motives underpinning our desire for control, we unearth insights into the genuine compass guiding our actions. This introspection provides us with the opportunity to realign our intentions, steering our control toward a purpose that resonates with compassion, understanding, and the advancement of both ourselves and our interconnected global community.

In our current society, an overabundance of controlling inclinations and a lack of self-regulation are prevalent issues. This disparity can lead to adverse outcomes, including curtailing individual liberties, escalating conflicts, and impeding personal development and overall wellness. Reestablishing a more balanced societal state may involve fostering a greater respect for individual independence, concurrently encouraging thoughtful choices that stem from self-awareness.

Ultimately, the nature of control becomes evident when viewed through the lens of intent—a guiding force that steers us toward crafting a world that either flourishes through cooperation or falters due to manipulation.